Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Final Answer....

Well as most of you know I had my ultrasound this morning.
My pregnancy with baby #7 was not going well.
The doctor said, I had a Chemical Pregnancy you can read here and here to find out more of what that means.

Our Little Baby Love Bean was lost just days after conception. He did not implant. Most women are a few days late with there period but in my case my body thinks its pregnant. (its not something I can control)  Thus not getting a period for 6 weeks.
I am 8 weeks along......or so I thought. My due date was to be Aug.28 2011
I am still getting a very positive pregnancy test.
My cervix is about 3 cm and firm.....though it should be totally closed (if pregnant), it was firm, as though I was pregnant still. The DR was expecting to find a placenta, yolk sac and a baby that stopped developing. (A blighted ovum) 
To his surprise there was not a sign of anything.....no placenta,baby or yolk sak.

A  Our baby was conceived {he} was real and has a soul,
though only here just briefly.

Our Little Baby Love Bean is in heaven waiting for us.

Emotionally, I am doing better than I thought I would be.
Better than I was this morning.
Hubby and the kids are disappointed but hubby said, we can just keep trying. {that's his favorite part} hee hee!

My body still thinks its pregnant, so hopefully in a few months I will be able to get pregnant?
Thanks for your continued prayers! :)

I will be making a few phone calls and then taking a nap!
I am drained!

Peace and Love,


  1. Oh dear friend!! I'm so sad for you!!! I know you are doing well today but don't be surprised if you have some days of feeling very blue - hormones and all play a role still. I know with both miscarriages I had - I had days where I felt like crying most of the time. I am praying that you will conceive again soon and that a babe in your arms is part of your future!!! I know your baby bean is waiting in heaven as my two are - I know I will get to hold them someday and kiss their tiny cheeks - just as you will!!! Praying for a speedy recovery for your body and your heart!!

    Blessings and hugs,

  2. Georgiann,

    I am sorry. You continue to be in my prayers.


  3. Dear Mama. I am heart-broken for you. I am so, so sorry. After your post on my blog, I caught up a bit on your posts and it certainly dragged up some old feelings of my miscarriages. Tears are falling here for you. Praying for your hurting body and heart.

    With Love,

  4. I have been out of the blog loop pretty much since Thanksgiving and I came to get caught up on your blog today. I am crying for you, and I am so sorry for your loss! I lost a baby at 7 weeks between my first daughter and my son. I knew I was pregnant but never got a positive test. At almost 7 weeks I felt this sudden overwhelming depression and I knew something was wrong. I spotted just a little each day for a week after that. I felt that I had lost a baby and nobody believed me, not even the pregnancy test, so I never went to the doctor. When I would have been 11 weeks pregnt I began to bleed. My head said I was crazy, there was no baby or the test would have said positive. My heart was so greived and screaming in silence and I sunk deeper into depression. And I lost so much blood that I should have died. But I was so depressed that the part of me that would have known to go to the ER was frozen and dead inside me. So I walked around like an empty shell, pretending I was having my period and going through the motions of life. Meanwhile I would lay down for half an hour when the baby napped and wake up soaked in blood bellybutton to knees. I would numbly change the sheets and myself and go on about life. The contractions were so painful that I did little more than sit in the bathroom or sit in my chair hugging a heating pad and obsessively reading anything and everything so I wouldn't have time to think, to feel. The reckoning came months later when I had a breakdown in the middle of the night to a friend online. She gave me the validation I needed and I went from being unable to speak about it to having the floodgates opened and being unable to talk about anything but my loss for a while, before the outpouring of greif finally slowed and I was able to really start the healing process.

    It wasn't a mistake. It wasn't a fluke. It wasn't an accident. It wasn't a cluster of random cells. It was a baby. I know in my heart it was a boy and I mourned for the loss of him.

    And my heart breaks for your loss too. Not forever, thankfully, we will hold our precious lost ones on the other side. A long wait...

    Sending you a huge virtual hug! And prayers for healing!


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