Christian Alexander....Precious In God's Eye's

and our eyes too~ 

                      Christian Alexander
                            Jan. 20 2011
                    Lost to miscarriage at
                          8 weeks 4 days!

This is the box we used to put Christian's remains in.



Yesterday morning after seeing Ginny's Wednesday mimi Yarn A Long,

I decided to knit a small blanket square to put in Christians box with him.

My daughter Jackie wanted to put her cross pin in the box too.

In the end......I wanted to keep them both.

I did not put the items in the box.

I have tears right now.....I feel, I should have put the items in the box with Christian.

But he does not need the knitted square.....

Its so hard to decide what to do, because once items are in the box and buried, you can't get them back.

But now I changed my mind......I want to put the items in and can't.

I want Christian to have them......I want them IN the box with Christian~

Everything is so final.

The blue yarn I used for the square was going to be used to knit Christian's socks for his homecoming from the hospital in August.

A day that will never come.

I am trying to go easy on my self!

Those that wanted to put letters and pictures in the outer plastic container could.

We did all that at home. I wrote a letter to my son...I might share it in the future?

I'm not sure?

Jackie also drew a picture of her brother, I will share it soon.

Jackie also told me that I had to make everyone go to the burial!

At first I gave the kids a choice.....my older 2 did not want to go.

Jackie said, it was their brother and I needed to make them go!

She was right...... so smart! I'm glad she made me!

Pictured above is the letter Jackie my 5yr old daughter wrote it reads:

Dear Christian,

I am sorry that you died.

I will come to your funeral.

The burial was simple and small.......just hubby our 6 kiddos and 2 people from the cemetery.

Faye(from the cemetery) blessed the ground with Holy Water then read a few prayers and a scripture.

We prayed the Our Father out loud together and then hubby put the box with

Christian's remains into the ground.

All the kiddos wanted to help fill the dirt back in, and as they did,

I took a few pictures.

Adam the other worker tamped the ground and placed the grass back.

Jackie then, placed a potted plant of baby red roses with a small heart shaped plant pick and a tiny heart shaped

 I love you balloon.

I also put a blue tag with Christian's name and the date he was miscarried on a pick in the pot of roses.

I hope to eventually purchase a grave marker but they are about $800.

So for now that will have to wait.

I am just so thankful Christian is buried in sacred ground, with dignity and respect!

 

I will admit that I was not expecting to see a fancy tent and chairs laid out for us......

for Christian.

It was beautiful.......truly beautiful!

Noah (8) made this Catholic momma so proud......he whips out his rosary beads! *sigh!

I love you Noah~

I never realised how tall my older two boys have gotten.

Jarett is 16 and Jacob will be 14 tomorrow (Feb. 4)

Boy I look short! I am 5.5! I did not think that was to short, but wow~

Both the girls really wanted to help the boys with the dirt!

After the burial we went as a family to our favorite buffet restaurant for dinner.

It felt good to be together.

When we got home a few of us played Monopoly for a while, then watched American Idol.

Last night my husband and I.......well things HAD been stressful around here between us.....

 I never felt closer to him than last night!

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers as our family (mainly me)

works through my grief.

Peace and Love,

Georgiann